A dancing child

A Dancing Child
(first verses, unfinished)


She stood still in silence
Wishing no one noticed
That her eyes were growing old
All her honest moments
Daughters of Elysium
Buried somewhere, long ago
         
         I will dance like you, boy
         (cause') I just had a breakdown
         (and now) I know I have no future

         ~

         (music)


---

People tend to dance to have fun, is a mean to seek joy, to find a sex partner, to forget about their lives for a little, to be superior, to be attractive. They found joy moving their bodies to music. This is when they are young or adults.

As a child, the thing is backwards, children don't seek music to get joy, therefore I found it a more pure, vastly far honest and sincere thing do, they wont think about dancing at all. They will simply do it. As a child you just react to joy. As a child, to dance is to smile and laugh with the whole body, you don’t take lessons, or dare an opponent, or try to look sexy, the sexiest; as a child you also smile in a way other living creatures can only do, moving their tails or jumping, which is a form of dancing.

*This is a work in progress.

Nothing will be ok

nice people
always happy
are unreal to me

you have destroyed
my sense of humor
you’ve corrupted my needs

I could’ve been always flying
but you`ve tied my feet
you drive me out of my own center
so I can never speak:
         “everything is fine!”
         “everything is fine!”
         “everything is fine!”
         “everything is fine!”

Everything was fine ~
         Everything was fine ~
         Everything was fine ~
                  Everything was just quite fine

Inside my veins there’s acid
corroding all my limbs
No common sense to build a caress
No broader sense to bear with me

as if  “Everything is fine!”
         “Everything is fine!”
         “Everything is fine!”
         “Everything is fine!”

Everything was fine
         how could you?...
Everything was fine
         how dare you?...
Everything was fine
         I’ll miss you…
Everything was fine
         how could you?


*1995, 1996, 1999, 2001, 2005, 2008.

Keleya

Eh!
Ha!
Eres
mi tormento
Ah!
Eres
mi tormento
Yey!
Ha!
horses
horses
(Eres
mi tormento)
horses 
horses
horses coming in all directions!
eres 
miTormen
to
hey! 
ha!
(and repeat this forever screaming like James Brown)

*this is a variation on a theme by Moussa Doumbia, I came up with this accidentally hearing the song mixed with truck noises, buzz, people and loud city sounds.

Unnamed

It's o.k. if you're confused
Leave the calm the wind induce
There is nothing wrong in fright then
There is nothing left to ruin...

I've been searching for my place
as you're doing with your hate
I've been living in this silence
Cannot live and leave this space

         In my eyes burning a storm
         I am looking for my home
         That fair place in which I feel that I belong to my own blood
         I'm the one with no one with
         and I'm searching for a mean
         in which all the things I do could find the way to rip the patterns

~

I've been looking in their eyes
I've found nothing but sour lives
found myself walking in silence / I've been talking with my silence
my words are not on my side / but it's words won't sound like mine
         I've been walking my own world (it's all right! no one minds!)
         I'll keep fighting with my sick and angry soul against their norms
         Need a way as much as you
         I am looking in my moods
         I've been trying all the paths that I've collected in my moons
         I have tried to waste my sight
         now I'm staring at my hands
         Too much noise and empty words assault my head in hazel burns
         I'll be digging in my life (in my eyes! in my lies!)
         (Till) I fell down with my weak sight immerse in my hands... founding nothing.

         Nothing

         ... I've found nothing.


---

*The bridge enters before the singing. Rough melody: 1999; Lyrics: 2001.

Whimper

No one ever told me how to feel
Instead they teach me to get mad
Now I ache this rumble in my head
   I know I should stop eating my days
   and loose my brain, and mess things up,
   -but- this itchy craze accelerates

         And I do
         Remind you
         Yeah, I do
         Remind you
                  of your indifference
                  ~

No one ever told me how to feel
   Instead they talk about the norms
Fluent speaking, nothing ever told
   I’ll never get their life as known
Craddles shifting, children laughs in vain
  No balance lost, no blalance done
Curse of life as cursed in darkly spells

         And I do
         Recall you
         While I do
         Remind you
                  Your indifference
                  ~
         Yes, I do
         Recall you
         Yeh I do
         Recall you
                  And your indifference
                  Of the northern winds
                  Through a dirty glass
                  Letting hours pass
                  At the dimmest light (At every fork in the road)
                  The seconds I get tired (At every troubled night)
                  In the back of my head (At every tire squeal)
                  At a sordid stare (At every bitter kiss)
 
No one ever shows me how they feel
No one ever tells me if they’re ill
No one ever speak their mind for real
No one ever talks with honesty
         Or that’s what I think…

---

Humming version: ending of 1998, beginning of 1999. 1st version: November 25th, 2000. This version: September 2008. Female Singer.

Sweet sunsets of 1978 / words out of place

Words out of place.

She’s waiting for
But you won’t come back
She’s saving words
For a real good bye
All her fears
Have begun to fade away, but
Yet still
Her tears are rolling down
          She’s waiting for you.

She’s waiting for
Sometimes anxious crying
She won’t take love
But she take pills at night
And all she asks
It’s a word, a glimpse at distance
So all her sighs
Disappear at once
         She’s waiting for you.

        She’s waiting for you…
        to come back in sight.

She won’t get hurt
Before she hurts back
She wounds and bleeds
And smiles at once
Sometimes she cries
And she needs to know the reason
So she goes down
For the real crimes
         She’s waiting for you.

         She’s curious of you.

         She waits here for you.
         In the same old ground.

         She's longing for you
         a Road to hell in mind.

She needed from you
         Just a pious lie
She needed that you
         Took pain as a man
She waited for you
         Thinking you're around (And you know this, don’t you? asshole)
She’s needing from you
         Scarce but friendly good byes.

                  She will wait for you.

----

*"Sweet sunsets" have a lyricized sister. There the words were out of place given the nature of the piece -which is mostly based on a series of images from my early childhood, the end of the 70's era, the declining of road movies, and the decaying colors in polaroids. Nevertheless, the lyricized version has it's own life, coming from a series of heartbreaking events occurred in march, and being complemented by other ongoing stories, this life, came to be a very important happening in my current days.

Fool

Too far away
From my deliriums
I thought I've found a warm light
In your mixed signals

They'll never know
We should have commit
(but) The truth was told within lies
and words of vomit

         Am I a fool?
         Cause' I'm walking away?
         But if you change through,
         I'll have no reason to stay... and I care.

Surrounded and shot
Almost killed
The wolf will still try try try
to hurt and ill
         Rivers of blood
         and crimson seas
         within it's eyes, it cries, dies
         bled with bare teeth
Then I woke from
This lucid dreaming
At sound of warmly spoke words
Of never leaving

         Yes, I'm a fool
         But your eyes still want me closer
         Yes, you've changed through
         And hunting season it's not over.

---

If wounded still I say I love you
It's because I love you, and I mean it
If hurt still I yell I love you
I do love you. It's not needing.
With a foot on the grave I still scream I love you
And I love you -cuz' you need this 
      (nana na nana na Na)
      (nana na nana na Na)
      (nana na nana na nana na Na)
      (nana na nana na Na a a)
      (...)


*Fool was first written on august 1998. Several versions of the lyrics were then rewritten and this last one dates from today. The song has been alive for more than 10 years now.

N / Black Dove

The Black Dove

I haven't found
Some one to smile
to Some one to die for
Until she came to be

I'm not sad
nor feel bad
Im just glad
I have had the chance to bleed

I could refer this To all my life
She comes back to save me and hides me away

Deep in her sight
Precious insides
Came to my eyes
But made me feel her needs

In her back
Purest back
a Pair of black
wings are buried in

Will pain or pleasure Make them rise?
Will tears be rolling On it's way out?
Will I be around her When it awakes?
Will I be around you...?